This Morning

It's cold, I waited in the cold for my ride, and when I walked into my office, I had a bunch of work piled in my seat. Fortunately, I've been a better record keeper than I had been before, so it was all good, but still, no little break of relaxation to ease me into work.

My desk is also a mess, play-doh strewn about as if some invisible kids have been living in my office, though it was really an object lesson for my 9th graders that put the 'doh on my desk.

My head has been hurting for the last 3-4 days, my eyes have been hot, like my body is trying to come down with something but also refusing to do so at the same time.

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. It was warm and relaxing, despite the kittys fighting at our feet. My husband finally caught the smallest one and threw her out of the room. The older kitty walked out, tail and head down, although I know she will dig up the carpet in protest. The smaller one also knocked bottles off of my desk to check out what were making the bird sounds outside our window. To her delight, it was birds. When my alarm sounded, I hit the snooze button and snuggled closer for 9 more minutes.

I hate facing the world. I wish I could start it off slowly, a pot of coffee with a tv show before finally opening Google Docs and getting to whatever story I've chosen to work on. Then, maybe around noon head out to somewhere for lunch and a table that will welcome my papers and books as I write or read to my hearts content because eventually, it will net me a profit. Then I would head home to be with The Honey when he comes home from school with amazing stories from philosophy of mind or philosophy of literature or art history or European history or poetry class. Then I would cook dinner because I miss getting my hands into food or getting the beautiful apron Little Sister made for me dirty.

Deciding to do something and actually doing something are two different things. As the sheer magnitude of work involved in a proposed project comes to mind, I realize that though it will be something that could be awesome, it is also something that could be time intensive and I'm not sure if my writing can handle me doing one more thing.

I could really use a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts right now...